Thursday, October 8, 2009

The 10 step guide to being actively passive aggressive

(a.k.a silent treatment in marital terms)

1. Do not read. Then he won't even know you are silent because of something he did. He conveniently assumes you are silent because you are reading! It's OK to begin imparting the silent treatment and then start reading.

2. Do not watch a movie with him. You will forget you are fuming and start discussing the plot.

3. Do not go to a friend's place with him. You cannot be silent there any more and he will happily assume that the storm has blown over. 

4. Do not go for a walk if he has the habit of tagging along and making a 'date' out of it. 

5. A child is a great distraction in this situation. A child has the ability to dissipate such situations with great ease. Beware!

6. Do not cook anything even border-line palatable. He will start showering compliments like it is his last meal and that will be the end of that!

7. Do not accept ice-cream or candy or rasmalai from him just because he offered, ever so sweetly.

8. Do something that you know that he knows you detest like scrubbing the bathtub or doing the laundry. 

9. Do not make eye contact except to glare.

10. Do not smile or laugh. Be dopey, sleepy, anything but not happy. Grumpy works best.

10 comments:

  1. Especially agree with #5. Bah!

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  2. hahahahahaha! you got it so right!

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  3. LOl!! Perfect list!! :) i follow each word to the core!!

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  4. and after a couple of days of doing the above you forget what started this to begin with and end up talking :(

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  5. hahah! #8 was the best!

    May I add "Make dinner for both. But start eating without waiting for him". Now he'll be confused if he should eat that or not.

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  6. chox: These kids!
    R's mom: I never get the silent treatment right though!
    Shruti: Good outcome?
    Sands: So true!
    TPL: Excellent addendum!

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  7. Or invite a friend over because then you have to talk as well
    sraikh

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  8. Where do we get with doing all of the above?? Do they really get it in spite of all this ;)??

    Nice one...have seen your comments around in a fair few blogs I visit..thought I'd pop over today and say hello :)!

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  9. I liked no. 5! Kids miraculously become cuter when you're fuming at their dad...that's why ppl say kids save marriages. Gah!

    I think I need to read this post every week:)

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  10. sraikh: Yeah, stop doing anything that might make you happy. :)
    sole: Sometimes he gets it so easily, sometimes he just doesn't!
    starry: "kids save marriages" - Gah'ing on that with you.

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