The saga of the blouse piece

The Scout whined and writhed his way through his first *symbolic* haircut at the temple on Sunday. Symbolic because just five wisps of hair were cut. This was followed by a festive lunch at home with friends and family. Lunch included poori, saagu (vegetable kurma), bisi-bele-bath (heavenly-rice-preparation-lost-in-translation), alu bonda, anna(rice), saaru(rassam), towwe(dal), kosambri, gulab jamun and a few other accompaniments. Co-ordinating all that was the easy part though, I swear. Co-ordinating the various blouse pieces, bangles and assorted gifts to be given out to people, according to their distance from the center of the universe and other celestial objects to merit such gifts, was the hardest part of the event. The critical section here was actually the blouse piece gifting. A logistical nightmare because of the differential and integral calculus level formulae that need to be applied to determine who gets what kind. For example, if you are a close friend who helped us with something once, you might get a pure silk one. If you are a friend who is acting off lately, you might get a silk mix in a totally random color. If you are just an acquaintance you might get a cotton blend. If you are "too modrren" you might get a smaller piece. And please do not ask about the utility of gifting a piece of unstitched cloth of unmeasured length, random material, and arbitrary color unless you want to incur the wrath of a million aunties for whom the joy of receiving and giving blouse pieces easily compares to the glee with which kids receive and give candied goodies at their parties. I'm glad to report that said blouse piece gifting was accomplished smoothly on this occasion. Commanded by the mil, who is the font of all knowledge when it comes to fast and accurate calculation of the degrees of separation and the gift exchange history of each family member, strategic military precision planning happened to organize said gifts in advance. Queueing theory was applied and an efficient supply chain was established to streamline the process. And all the maamis returned home with their own precious 'blouse piece' goody bags. Now with the expertise acquired after my first successful mission, I want to create a 'blouse piece' gift on Facebook and generously gift every unsuspecting friend and non-friend with it. Isn't that a neat way of upholding the tradition? Would the mil agree? :P